How To Avoid Conflicts Over Marriage Finances
Something from the past, something from the present, something borrowed, and something blue. All of these items are great to have on your wedding day, as long as the “something borrowed” is your grandmother’s brooch rather than a line of credit to pay for the big day. You want to start your married life off right, and while discussing finances before the wedding may not be the most romantic of topics, it is essential to a happy marriage.
Conflicting viewpoints on all things monetary are one of the most common reasons for discord among newlyweds. Most couples have had at least a couple of decades to build their financial habits, such as saving, spending, investing, credit, debit, and so on, and now you’ll be making decisions on your own. These judgments are made in collaboration with someone who may, at times, hold opposing viewpoints. After all, opposites do attract. Complicating matters are annoyances like school debts, changeable wages, and prospective in-law assistance, so getting on the same financial page is a difficult but essential first step.
It just hurts for a second when you rip off the band-aid.
If you’ve been living on your own for a long time, earning and handling your own money, the idea of integrating it all and putting your finances out in the open can be overwhelming, embarrassing, and frightening. Do you owe money on your credit cards? Is your credit record free of blemishes? Do your parents help you out now and then? This is all information that will not just come out later, but that you need to know before making a major financial choice like purchasing your first home together. To schedule a meeting and prepare to lay all your cards on the table. Don’t wait until the week before the wedding to start planning or you’ll be too late.
Get your act together
A joint bank account is the foundation of a good marriage. Some accounts, such as 401Ks (workplace savings plans) and, for the fortunate among us, trust funds, will never be merged, but for day-to-day expenditures, you should have a joint checking and savings account. Decide where you want it to go. Open any automatic deposits or withdrawals and make the required modifications. All costs, from energy bills to new shoes, should be paid from this joint account, with any surplus going into savings. Everyone enters a relationship with some financial baggage (Did one of you grow up wanting necessities while the other was spoiled?) . If this is a challenging step for you, seek the assistance of a marriage counsellor who can help you open up about your financial concerns. It must be completed. There will be no logical way to keep your financial homes separate after the kids arrive. Remember, you married this person with their college debt (it’s a part of who they are), credit card debt, and/or large savings, so embrace it.
In the eyes of the Lord, the law, and your wallet, one unit
Determine which of your financial priorities are most important to each of you. You won’t get everything you want, just as you won’t get all you want when mixing furnishings, music, and schedules. You are two distinct individuals, yet your home must be seen as a single financial entity. The first, and most straightforward, step is to speak about fixed, predictable costs — figure out how much money comes out of your checking account each month for things like utilities, rent, loans, automobiles, cell phones, food, and so on. Once you’ve determined your regular costs, decide how much money you’d want to set aside for household discretionary spending. Remember that when children arrive, you don’t want to say things like, “You purchase his left shoe, and I’ll buy his right shoe.” Everything is shared. Make sure you have enough discretionary funds to buy that pair of shoes you’ve been eyeing and allow your partner to indulge as well. The important thing is that you have some leftovers. After costs, you should always have $500–1000 at the end of each month.
Is it possible to be young, dumb, and broke at the same time? Nope!
That’s the way the song goes, so sing it but don’t live it. The simplest approach to save money is to spend less than you earn. You’re young and in love, and if you don’t allow money problems to get in the way, you’ll stay that way for a long time. As a result, get started saving right away. Spend less than you earn, even if it’s just a little each month, and try to build an emergency savings account of at least three months’ worth of income expenses in the event of job loss, as well as a separate account of at least $1500 in case of unexpected expenses such as a car repair or something fun like a root canal.
